Konoha Mishaps
by Byakusharinnegan
Summary: Sequel to Akatsuki Mishaps. The terrible time where the Akatsuki's secrets were exposed has passed - now it descends on Konohagakure no Sato. Read Akatsuki Mishaps first. On HIATUS, sorry, will update when the Naruto/Fairy Tail crossover series is finished.
1. Naruto's Prank List

**I must say, everyone has been rather helpful!**

**So, in the spelling bee, I placed fifth out of 1000 students or so. Therefore, in order to celebrate, I shall release five chapters in the course of one week - Naruto, Genin Sasuke (who is quite different from the other and I am only doing since I lost to Itachi in rock-paper-scissors) Sakura, Kakashi, and Gai and Lee. I am doing Gai and Lee at the same time in order to...well...you'll see.**

**I would like to also notify everybody that the Cursed Diary of Team Hawk has been sighted yet again - this time, however, in a forest. In the Inuyasha universe. It was rather amusing to see people read, have nosebleeds, read again, and add stuff. And repeat the process over and over again.**

**Oh, and if you want to know what word I lost out on, it was "herbaceous". I spelled it "herbacious". The winner won with the word "haughtiness" as the runner-up spelled "faux" as "Pho".**

* * *

Naruto's Ramen Adventures was a diary written by Naruto on his day-to-day prank happenings. Sometimes, the very boring one would appear (like causing a Jounin to faint with a large nosebleed) to the extremely elaborate one (like that time where a giant contraption was created in the village). The giant contraption was actually thought to be a bomb, so the Hokage had ANBU scrambling around like ants trying to find the key. It was later discovered that this giant, elaborate thing was actually a device used for cracking eggs in such a way, that, when 10 eggs were cracked, the writing "UZUMAKI NARUTO: FUTURE HOKAGE" could be seen from the air.

The list of the more memorable pranks are shown below.

* * *

PRANK TITLE: THE SASUKE-CHAN PRANK

Prank Purpose: To turn one Uchiha Sasuke into a girl.

Status: Complete

Amount of Tries: One [1]

Procedure for Completion:

Lure Sasuke towards training grounds using henge of one Uchiha Itachi. Make sure to use the solid henge. Not the academy one. Once Sasuke joins you in the clearing, immediately activate the pepper-spray smoke screen you should have set up earlier. Proceed to solid-henge-force Sasuke into an extremely attractive girl.

Probable Errors:

1. Somebody mistakes you for the _real_ Uchiha Itachi. And calls the ANBU. And you're screwed. Will land you in talk about Hokage about how the hell did you figure out what Itachi looks like and why did you do it.

2. You end up using the academy henge. This will result in severe Sasuke beat-up-and-emo session(s). Also will land you in talk with Hokage about where the hell did you figure out what Itachi looked like.

3. Sasuke manages to get past the pepper spray smoke screen. VERY UNLIKELY. But, in the case that it should, activate the approx. 23 back-up pepper spray smoke screens.

4. The solid-henge-force does not work. Run away. Shunshin and Kawamiri at the same time if you have to. Hell, use the Kyuubi even!

5. You, in your attempt to escape from a rage-filled Sasuke, somehow end up freeing the Kyuubi. If that happens, calmly imagine giant raspberries and imagine Kyuubi eating them. This may distract said Kyuubi and allow you to force it back. Then, conjure up random pictures (such as tape and mustard) to further confuse the Kyuubi.

6. Step #5 did not work. Offer the Kyuubi a giant cookie. Then, run, change your name and appearance, and live as a hermit forever.

7. You cannot change Sasuke back into a boy. If this occurs, it is OK. Maybe Itachi will fall in love and problem solved. If not, use the solution for Step #6. Including the Kyuubi part.

* * *

PRANK TITLE: THE ENDLESS MERRY-GO-ROUND

Prank Purpose: How many ANBU can you get dizzy if ANBUs can get dizzy?

Status: Completed, but possible to break record

Record: Three [3] ANBU

Amount of Tries: Forty-seven [47]

Procedure for Completion:

Set up a long string around the village, and string more string around the entire village. Then, attach random clues to oranges, throw them at ANBU, and watch in amusement as the ANBU flicker around everywhere. Toss down chocolate tied to oranges every five seconds to a different ANBU. When out of different ANBU, repeat process, making sure each ANBU gets the same amount. Watch in amusement again as they finally collapse from dizziness - hopefully.

Probable Errors:

1. The ANBU do not get dizzy. No problem. Bombard them with oranges and various pieces of (vaguely) hard fruit.

2. You ran out of fruit to thrown. No problem. Continue with rocks.

3. You have terrible aim and the ANBU locate you and capture you. Scream bloody murder (literallly) before yelling random things to surprise the ANBU.

4. #3's solution failed and you are currently sitting in front of the Hokage, who is currently asking you what the hell were you thinking. Babble out something random, like "I drink coffee with 5 sugar cubes from extra energy before jumping out the window.

5. Said window is closed. Crash through the window. The window of the Hokage tower is broken every week, so no harm.

6. For some bizarre reason, the window does not break. That is rather strange. So, use your Sexy Jutsu and get the hell out of there.

7. AUGH HELP ME THE ANBU CAPTURED ME AND I'M BEING SENT TO THE MILITARY POLICE FOR INTERROGATION! Well, my friend, pray that Sexy Jutsu works on Uchihas.

8. Sexy Jutsu does not work on Uchihas. Well, then. Cooperate nicely, but if it goes too far, run away.

9. I CAN'T RUN! OK...start crying randomly and feign insanity?

10. None of them work. Well, you're screwed.

* * *

PRANK TITLE: GOOD DEEDS FOR THE VILLAGE, BAD DEEDS FOR THE VILLAGE'S PERVERTS

Prank Purpose: To expose all perverts

Status: In progress

Record: Currently, have exposed 17 perverts and one pervert multiple time.

Procedure for Completion:

Use your Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and stake out every hot spring in Konoha. When pervert is seen, take down one wall of women's bath (the wall behind which said pervert is hiding) and scream "PERVERT!" loudly and in as girly a voice as possible. NOTE: BEWARE OF A CERTAIN PERVERT WITH LONG WHITE HAIR AND WARTS ON NOSE. EXTREMELY PERSISTENT.

Probable Errors:

1. The 'pervert' is actually an animal. In that case, run. And run. And run.

2. The pervert has decided to give chase for ruining his (quote) "Wonderous research!" Use you Sexy Jutsu and run.

3. You are reprimanded by the Hokage on the terms that you are (quote again) "Destroying the peace of which Konoha is currently enjoying after the wars". In that case, loudly explain to the Hokage that you are doing a good deed.

* * *

PRANK TITLE: I AM EPIC, AND YOU ARE NOT

Prank Purpose: To prove that I, Uzumaki Naruto, can and will defeat Uchiha Sasuke, the disagreeable little brother of ANBU Weasel, who gives me dango and pocky every once in a while.

Status: Uncompleted

Number of Tries: 43

Procedure for Completion:

There is no procedure, just make a random plan up based on the situation.

Probable Errors:

Just consider everything, there's a better chance of failing than succeeding.

* * *

PRANK TITLE: THE THREE DREADED 8-LETTER WORDS

Prank Purpose: To expose Uchiha Sasuke to the three dreaded 8-letter words in the same day: "Fangirls", "Stalking", and "Pictures".

Status: Completed...many times

Record: Currently, number of times stands at 132

Procedure for Completion:

Tip off every single girl in the village about a certain location. Then, henge into Itachi (again) and lead Sasuke there. Immediately disappear.

Probable Errors:

1. The girls don't believe you. This is highly unlikely, but if so, henge into Sasuke, walk up to them, and hand them a note telling them to go to a certain location. When they arrive, lead Sasuke to that same location.

2. Sasuke won't follow you. This is also highly unlikely, as Sasuke will do just about anything to kill his older brother (who, in my opinion, does not deserve to be killed. Anyone who will treat me to untainted dango and ramen at any time should not be killed.), so it should not be a problem.

* * *

"Naruto..." the glare of Sasuke was very frightening.

Naruto slowly turned his head.

"What is this?"

Naruto's eyes widened comically.

"Oh shi-"

* * *

**Do not worry, Naruto is alive.**

**I am typing these all from scratch, so pardon me if they take a bit of time.**

**See you again,**

**Byaku~**

**P.S. I would like to ask you all a question. If I wrote a story about Itachi's genin days (with the sensei being one Morino Ibiki) would anyone read it? I'm considering the idea.**


	2. Sasuke's Childhood

**So...I posted the first chapter, and within an hour or so, I get my very first story subscription! A virtual cookie to SaphiraEragon! SaphiraEragon, you may also write an entry in the Cursed Diary of Team Hawk if you wish. **

**The Cursed Diary of Team Hawk, however, is currently lost on my diary-tracking radar. **

**I believe it is heading to the Bleach universe...**

**Either way, I shall give you some spoilers for this chapter so far. They include:**

**Fangirls**

**Tomato**

**Poisonous tomato plants**

**Ducks**

**And last, but not least,**

**Stalking**

**Aren't we off to a great start?**

**And here is a random question:**

**Is cake better or pie?**

* * *

Sasuke had a favorite quote once.

"Knowledge is knowing that the tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting the tomato in a fruit salad."

Of course, he didn't mention that Naruto added on to that a "And awesomeness is insisting that the tomato is a fruitable."

But in the Uchiha clan, knowledge and wisdom were very important. Along with power and jutsus and Sharingans and more power and the seat of Hokage and geniuses and love.

**(A/N: Yes, love. The Uchiha clan treasured love. Read the new Naruto chapter.)**

Sasuke personally thought that "tomatoes" should be added. Or "onigiri". The food. Not the other meaning.

Since "onigiri" could either be the food or "demon slash". And while the Uchiha clan would probably love a kind of jutsu called "demon slash", Sasuke didn't think you could really eat "demon slash".

Unless it was some name of a food. Which would be sort of stupid. And not Uchihaish at all.

In fact, Sasuke might have continued to believe in that, except for that little incident that happened...

* * *

When Sasuke was little, he loved tomatoes. Hence the fact that his mother had a little tomato garden inside the bigger garden.

Pity that no one told Sasuke that the leafy green parts of the tomato plant were toxic...or that tomatoes tasted better ripe, which was when they were red.

The "incident" happened when Sasuke nearly ate the toxic parts. Fortunately, Itachi (such a helpful child, Itachi was) stopped Sasuke from eating the leafy green plants.

After that, Sasuke went for the other green thing - the not-yet-ripe tomatoes. It was quite the show. Sasuke bit into one, curled his lip in disgust, swallowed the piece, and curled his lip in disgust some more before running into the house and getting a piece of pocky.

Ever since then, Sasuke lived in fear of what would have happened if Itachi had not stopped him. This irritated him since it gave him a reason NOT to hate Itachi, and he didn't like that.

No. He didn't like that at all.

Which was why sometimes Itachi would temporarily ditch his duties in the Akatsuki to go and freak Sasuke out.

It was as amusing as Sasuke eating the green tomato.

But only for Itachi. Not Sasuke.

* * *

Fangirls.

An eight-letter word described by another eight-letter word (terrible) and who's counterpart in the world likes to do another eight-letter word (stalking).

Just about every Uchiha had to deal with at least _one_ fangirl...

Except for Obito. But he eventually gained fangirls, so no harm there.

Surprisingly thought, Itachi managed to shake off each and every fangirl, thereby giving him the title of "genius".

Sasuke tried to follow what Itachi said to his fangirls. Really, he did. But it sucked, since today's fangirls would go crying to their parents and teachers and the grown-ups would either

a) Tell Sasuke that he was no good for "my sweet little daughter" (dad)

b) Tell Sasuke to be nicer to the girls (mom)

or

c) Tell Sasuke that he should be nice and not insult anyone (teacher)

and occasionally a

d) Tell Sasuke that he should be nice and not insult anyone except the Kyuubi brat (teacher that usually disappeared within the next few hours or so)

And would you like to know what Itachi said to each of his fangirls?

It usually went like this:

Fangirl: U-um, Uchiha-san...

Itachi: *turns head* What?

Fangirl: U-um...Pleaseacceptthis! *holds out gift*

Itachi: Sorry, I already have a girlfriend.

Fangirl: O-oh, r-really?

Itachi: No. I just hate you. You annoy me. Go practice to become a useful kunoichi.

Fangirl: TT / TT

Itachi: *walks away*

**(A/N: In my opinion, don't fangirl a boy in the first place. School and job and money goes first. Boys are...somewhere down the list, after making friends and staying away from drugs and alcohol, and learning how do people stand in high heels...)**

Usually the said fangirl would have a nice cry, and take Itachi's words to heart and try hard. Then, before she could go ask again, Itachi murdered the entire Uchiha clan and became a missing nin.

Yup. That happened.

* * *

At first, boys teased Sasuke for his funny duck butt hair.

They said ducks were weak and Sasuke looked like a duck, so therefore Sasuke was weak.

So, instead of crying, Sasuke went home to ask his brother if there was a genjutsu that created evil ducks.

Itachi went to the Uchiha library and found one.

Sasuke learned it.

The next day, Sasuke cast the genjutsu and the boys were rendered helpless with stampeding ducks wielding giant spinach and broccoli and bitter melon and brussels sprouts.

The boys never bother Sasuke again.

They also developed severe anatidaephobia. Anatidaephobia is the fear of being watched by a duck. The word exists. It is not a fun fear to have. **  
**

Eventually they were cured, but they soon developed severe Gaiphobia, the fear of Maito Gai.

* * *

**And here is the end of Sasuke's chapter.**

**I found a strange phobia today.**

**Arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.**

**...It's rather strange if you ask me...**

**Another one is Aurophobia, which is the fear of gold...not very helpful financially...**

**Barophobia, the fear of gravity, would not be helpful on Earth...where there is gravity.**

**I will continuously post random phobias...**

**Good bye,**

**Byaku~**


	3. Sakura's Attempts at Love

**So...I was planning to get this uploaded a day ago...but there's this thing called a trapezoid. And there's this thing called a two-column proof. And _then_ there's this thing called use a two-column proof to prove that ABCD is a trapezoid. Yup.  
**

**Trapezoids, my friends, are evil. And so are kites. And acute scalene triangles. DO NOT TRUST THEM!**

**Right.**

**Moving on...**

**Today I told my friends, "When I die, do you promise to throw me a party?"**

**Surprisingly, they agreed. Quickly.**

**It's great to know that they care so much for my death...they even promised a chocolate fountain.**

**This chapter was freaking hard to type.**

* * *

Uchiha Sasuke was the hottest guy in the universe.

That was the singular thought that ran through Haruno Sakura's mind when she first laid eyes on the black-haired, black-eyed avenger.

**(Of course, at that time, she had no idea what Uchiha Itachi looked like.)**

Sasuke's antisocialness was obviously due to the trauma of his loved ones dying, and Sakura was determined to become Sasuke's new loved one.

And there was no way in hell she was going to become Naruto's.

Seriously, what was with that guy? He kept going for her, even though that Hyuuga girl was obviously in love with him. Naruto was definitely stupid, after all, how could you not notice it.

It was a pity, really. Had she paid attention a little more, the same applied for Sasuke too. Minus the "going for her" part.

* * *

Her first attempt was back in the Academy, when she and all the other girls were in a loud argument in hopes that "Sasuke-kun would hear her heavenly voice and immediately fall in love".

Somewhere in there, thought, Sakura mentioned loudly that she hated Naruto.

Sasuke did not exactly take too much kindness to that. After all, he and Naruto were friends. Key word: were. They had come together once to defeat Shisui and Ita-that man, but after that man killed the clan, he and Naruto got in a fight. Naruto insisted that I-that man (damnit, he had to stop calling nii-san Itachi-oh Kami he called that man nii-san!) was forced to kill the clan and all that stuff.

In the end, it was sort of fair to say that the result was a tie, as Sasuke beat Naruto in all the school stuff and Naruto literally spammed the Uchiha Compounds with various pranks - even going as far to coat everything in bubble bath mixture to make it all smell good.

It was rather annoying.

Scratch that, it was as irritating as hell.

* * *

Another attempt was when the genin teams had been formed. Sakura was ready to die when she learned she got on a team with Sasuke. It was the "be on same team, show awesome skills, Sasuke falls in love" tactic.

"Sasuke falls in love" was supposed to mean first kiss. And while Sakura had some comfort in the fact that no other girl kissed Sasuke first, it was depressing to learn that the first kiss was Naruto.

Yes, Naruto. Blond idiot, whiskered cheeks, prank spammer of Uchiha compound...you get the picture.

And to add further fuel to the flame, Sakura quickly learned, that, in a fight against a jounin, a Goukakyu no Jutsu or Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu was a lot more effective than a simple Bunshin no Jutsu.

The painful truth was that Sakura didn't do anything. It went a little something like this:

Naruto: *steals Kakashi's book*

Kakashi: Naruto...

Naruto: Yes, sensei?

Kakashi: That is my book.

Naruto: I know.

Kakashi: Give me my book.

Sasuke: *randomly jumps in* Give us the bells.

Kakashi: Give me my book.

Naruto: Oiroke no Jutsu!

Kakashi: *have ginormous nosebleed*

Sasuke: *takes bells*

Naruto: *pokes Kakashi* is he still alive?

Sasuke: *drags Kakashi to shallow pond and drops him in with help of Naruto and shadow clones*

Kakashi: *randomly shoots out of pond and stands on surface*

Naruto and Sasuke: OMG YOU'VE GOTTA TEACH US THAT!

* * *

Another attempt was that time where Naruto somehow managed to get everyone out for ramen. Instead of it turning out the way it should (as in Sasuke falling in love) the lunch turned into a who-can-see-under-Kakashi-sensei's-mask(s) contest and it sort of went to hell from there.

In the end, pretty much everyone was covered from head-to-toe in _something_. Except for Kakashi's mask. Kakashi was pretty much covered in dust, but his mask somehow managed to avoid it all. Naruto was covered in ramen noodles and broth, Sasuke was buried in cherry tomatoes (which mysteriously disappeared in the next 20 minutes) and Sakura was covered in...

Starch.

Yes, as weird as it seems, it was starch.

The starch ruined her clothes, her hair, and made her skin look way too pale and messed up the tiny bit of makeup she put on that morning.

And the next minute, Kakashi showered them all with a Suiton jutsu.

Pity that when you mixed water with starch, it sort of solidified and got all gloopy. So now there were white globs falling off of Sakura.

It was an unspoken agreement that they would never try to look under Kakashi's mask ever again.

* * *

And then there was that very embarrassing time where they all got completely soaked up to the point where you could pretty much see through their clothes.

The result was a wall with a Sasuke-shaped hole, Naruto-shaped hole, and half a Kakashi-sensei-shaped hole (Sakura didn't have enough strength to punch him all through) and two people in the hospital.

It was like miniature Tsunade all over again. Sarutobi was torn between banging his head on his desk and banging his head on the wall. Since he was currently walking out in the middle of a forest, he banged his head against one of the ANBU's shoulders.

* * *

**Sakura is done...next is Kakashi!**

**In the next chapter, you shall learn why you should not wake up Itachi...**


	4. The Road of Kakashi's Life

**This is Kakashi's chapter, and it involves books, Itachi, ramen, masks, yearly checkups...not in that order. Definitely not.**

**And not only am I stressed out because I have a science test tomorrow, I also have a math test.**

***sighs***

**Well, wise words of the day:**

**Never wake Itachi up.**

* * *

Kakashi really thought his life was hell. It had been a relatively simple A-rank mission, go in to heavily guarded compound, kill bad guy, get out.

But somewhere along the way the bad guy had hired some random Iwa jounins to defend him.

And also along the way the Akatsuki had also decided to assassinate the bad guy.

And the Akatsuki pair that had come happened to be Itachi and Kisame.

So, now, you had a Konoha genius ninja, ex-Konoha (but still genius) ninja, and a Kiri missing-nin with a ton of chakra on one side, and random A-ranked Iwa jounins on the other side.

The victory was more of a slaughtering than any thing else. Itachi was attempting to try out a medical jutsu, but instead of cutting the guy head off, the bad guy tripped and Itachi sort of ended up slicing him in half.

And a few hours after that, Kakashi found himself walking right next to Itachi as they all calmly made their way to Konoha. When Kakashi questioned Itachi, Itachi responded with the answer that he had recently been on a trip to Snow Country and was delivering a souvenir from Snow Country to Sasuke, who had always wanted to go to Snow COuntry.

Kakashi had a feeling this wouldn't go so well.

Night came, and everyone fell asleep, Kisame taking the first watch since Itachi's health wasn't doing so well. Itachi insisted that it wasn't top notch, Kisame secretly confided to Kakashi that Itachi's immune system was pretty much screwed up.

Day came, and Kakashi went to go wake up Itachi. He poked Itachi in the cheek, and the result looked something like this:

"O/_\O

SHARINGAN!"

Kakashi soon found himself in a binding technique before Itachi realized who it was.

As Kakashi dropped to the ground, he sighed and said,

"Why do you always do that?"

Itachi did the same thing in ANBU.

* * *

Years of dealing with the Uchiha sort of gave Kakashi a basic understanding in the Language of Hn.

First it was Obito, who, upon introducing Kakashi to his family (sort of), gave Kakashi a basic lesson in Hn.

After that was when Obito died and he went to court over the accusation that he had stolen Obito's eye. He learned more Hn there. And then he met Itachi, who, after learning of his terrible Hn, came to his apartment, sealed away his Icha Icha, and ceremoniously dropped a huge 15,000 page book about the Language of Hn.

So now, thanks to all that (in the end, Kakashi didn't read the book), Kakashi could speak as much Hn as Kisame. Which was quite an improvement, lately.

Kakashi watched in carefully hidden amusement as Sasuke glared at his older brother and Itachi stared back. They stared a volley of Hns, which escalated until both ran out of breath. Then Itachi walked over and handed Sasuke the snow globe before poking Sasuke on the forehead and walking off.

Kakashi cursed Itachi for leaving him to bring Sasuke to the hospital.

* * *

And then there was that time Naruto started watching Hetalia.

Kami, that was torture.

"Draw a circle, that's the earth, draw a circle, that's the earth, draw a circle, that's the earth, I am Hetalia~" sang Naruto was he doodled a circle in the earth.

"Naruto?"

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Shut up."

"Geez, Kakashi-sensei, you're just like Germany. Ah!" he pointed to Sasuke. "You're Italy! Since you like tomatoes and stuff!"

"And..." he turned to Sakura. "I think you'd be Hungary...I'm not sure though..."

"I'm not hungry, Naruto."

"No, you're Hungary!"

Kakashi turned a tired eye towards Naruto. "And what would you be?"

"I'm America! Cuz I'm always the hero!" Naruto jumped around.

"Let's see...Hinata could be Japan! Yeah! And...Tsunade-baa-chan's Russia! Wait a minute, that gives a creepy image...and Ero-sennin could be France...wait, that's even scarier...I wonder who would England be...Maybe the Fourth Hokage could be the Holy Roman Empire...but that would make no sense..."

Naruto fell over sleeping.

Quickly.

Cue dramatic face-plant.

* * *

The worst part of Kakashi's life was when his Icha Icha books went missing. The ones that had been signed by Jiraiya. Kakashi literally ran around screaming bloody murder, until finally some jounin got Jiraiya to leave the hot springs and comfort Kakashi.

The result was a new signed book.

Which went missing a few days later.

Half a month of screaming bloody murder later, Kakashi discovered that they were all in a bag duct-taped to the roof by Naruto in an attempt to get Kakashi to teach them cool jutsus.

Kakashi taught them the "What Not to Do to Hatake Kakashi" jutsu.

Needless to say, it wasn't very fun.

* * *

And no-one ever forgets (or lets Kakashi forget) the time were Kakashi got drunk. Really drunk. Drunk up to the point where some people worried he'd get alcohol poisoning.

It started off with sake. Lots and lots of sake. And meat. Don't forget the meat.

Five seconds in, everybody ate meat with sake.

2 hours in, some people were beginning to attempt to barbeque sake or barbeque meat in sake...

3 hours in, everyone was hugging random people and loudly proclaiming that "You're my bestest friend forever and I'll remember you until I forget!"

8 hours later, members of the "Celebrate Kakashi's promotion to jounin" party had a really bad hangover.

* * *

**So...I think we know why we shouldn't wake up Itachi now. I want to go to sleep now...it's cappuccino time...I don't drink coffee.**

**Preview of Next Chapter featuring Gai and Lee:**

**"Gai-sensei! Look! Our youthful shouting has summoned the Fountain of Youth!"**

**"Yosh! Lee! Let us take this youthful fountain and bring it to people who have lost their Springtime of Youth and are in their Winter of Depression and Discontentness!"**

**"Gai-sensei! I have a suggestion!"**

**"What is it, Lee?"**

**"We should give some to Danzou-sama!"**

**"Why, what a good idea, Lee!"**

**Byaku~ **


	5. Gai and Lee's Fountain of Youth

**Hello, peoples!**

**I have decided to do Gai's and Lee's in one chapter since they're pretty much the same person...yeah...**

**It involves chibis. Just thought you should know.**

**And that includes Danzou. I thought it would be very amusing...and maybe mentally scarring. **

**Oh well.**

**Please note that this is after Sasuke left.**

**Zemmiphobia: The fear of the giant mole rat. What is a giant mole rat, anyways?**

**Walloonphobia: The fear of the Walloons. What are Walloons? **

* * *

It was 5 in the morning, and Gai and Lee were on their "Early Morning Training of Youth", when suddenly, a giant, sparkly rainbow fountain appeared.

The two stared at it.

Then, suddenly, Lee spoke.

"Gai-sensei..."

"What?"

"This...this..."

"Spit it out, Lee."

"This...must be...the FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!"

Gai spun around to look at Lee. "You are right! Our youthful shouting must have summoned it!"

Lee began scooping the water in the buckets.

Gai saw him and grinned. "Good, Lee! We shall bring the wonderful Springtime of Youth to those who are trapped in the Winter of Discontent!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!"

* * *

"YOOOOOSH! KAKASHIIIIIIII!"

Kakashi turned and raised a visible eyebrow at the green-clad jounin who was currently hefting something that looked like a giant version of Gaa-er, Kazekage-sama's gourd of sand. Lee was running behind him, hefting another one of those giant gourd things. Giving a big sigh, he turned back around and continued to angst about the loss of his Icha Icha (personally confiscated by that stupid blo-er, Hokage-sama).

"Kakashi?"

"...Just leave me alone, Gai."

"GASP!"

Kakashi turned to see a horrified Gai and Lee.

"...What?"

"Gai-sensei...did you see what I saw?"

"Yes..." Gai said. Then started to cry. "My eternal rival...is stuck in the Winter of Discontent! How can I, his eternal rival, not help him! Drink, Kakashi!"

"Gai what are you-" Kakashi was forced to drink a cup of "Water of Youth".

Poof!

Instead of an angsting Kakashi, there was a surprised Kakashi-_chibi_.

"Gai-What did you do!" Kakashi cried, waving his little arms.

"YOSH! My eternal rival's youth has been restored!"

* * *

Kakashi cursed. Today was the day Gaa-er, Kazekage-sama was arriving, and he was supposed to welcome him. But...

Gaara stared down at Kakashi.

"You are...?"

"Hatake Kakashi, Kazekage-sama."

Gaara frowned. "The Hatake Kakashi I know is...taller."

"Water of Youth."

"...I'm sorry?"

"KAZEKAGE-SAMA!"

"Oh. Hello, Gai-san."

Gai stared. "Kazekage-sama, you do not seem to be youthful today."

"...No, Gai-san."

"Well, in that case..."

Poof!

Now we have a chibi Gaara as well.

"GAAAAAARAAAAAA!" Naruto came running over. He stopped. And looked down.

"Er...Gaara? Kakashi-sensei? What happened?"

"...Water of Youth."

This was happening everywhere.

* * *

"...Neji. Explain." Hiashi stared down at his chibi-nephew.

"Hai, Hiashi-sama. Today, I was training my Byakugan, and Gai-sensei and Lee-san appeared, with gourds that resemble Kazekage-sama's on their backs. They, after asking me if I felt ready to wear the green spandex (to which I said no) they decided I was not useful and force-fed me something they called "Water of Youth." And here I am. My apologies, Hiashi-"

Neji stood frozen in shock, as Hiashi began to pat him on the head.

"You look so much like your child self!"

Neji sighed.

* * *

Tsunade stared at her three advisors, Koharu, Homura, and Danzou.

Three old and wise advisors.

Three old, wise and _chibi_ advisors.

Tsunade wondered if she really was this drunk. Maybe it was Kakashi's revenge for stealing his Icha Icha.

* * *

"Gai-sensei..."

"Yes, Lee?"

"I have a suggestion."

"What?"

"We should bring some to Sasuke-san!"

"Why, what a good idea, Lee!"

* * *

While there was a name for a chibi Itachi (Itachibi) there was no name for a chibi Sasuke.

Even if he really did look cute.

And it was even cute when chibi Sasuke began throwing a chibi tantrum and waving a chibi sword around.

Chibi Sasuke even added a chibi pout when Lee suggested they bring it to Naruto to make Naruto happy.

* * *

Naruto held Chibi-Sasuke.

Chibi-Sasuke glared at Naruto.

Naruto hugged Chibi-Sasuke and went to show Sakura Chibi-Sasuke.

Sakura hugged Chibi-Sasuke and showed him to Tsunade, who sent her to Ibiki for interrogation.

Ibiki refused to see Chibi-Sasuke since Chibi-Sasuke reminded him of Little-Kid-Sasuke, who constantly annoyed him when he couldn't find Itachi.

Plus, Chibi-Sasuke wouldn't stay still, so Ibiki sent an ANBU to find Itachi, only to learn that Lee and Gai had turned Itachi into Itachibi...

* * *

"DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"Bad Sasuke. It is not nice to attack your big brother." Itachi sat on the chair opposite from Sasuke, who was waving his chibi sword and channeling chibi-lightning through it.

"I DON'T CARE! DIE! DIE!"

Itachi raised a hand and conked Sasuke on the head. Sasuke chibi-pouted...and Itachi was seized with an urge to hug Sasuke, just like he did when Sasuke was 3 years old.

He went through with that urge.

It went to hell from there.

* * *

"You realize you're a missing nin, right?" Izumo asked as he talked to Kisame at the gates of Konoha while Kotetsu frantically tried to locate an ANBU.

"Why, yes, yes I do." responded Kisame.

"And that you are a member of Akatsuki _and_ you have a bounty on your head, and a pretty high one at that?"

"Yes."

"And we could just attack you right now?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm hoping you won't. I'm here to get my partner, Uchiha Itachi."

"Oh. You mean Itachibi." Izumo seemed to have gone into shock and was no longer affected by Kisame.

"Er...yes."

"Oh. Follow me."

"Ok..."

* * *

"Kisame. What are you doing?" asked Itachi as he was lifted and lowered in the air.

"It's fun, Itachi-san. Or should I say Itachibi?"

"...You've joined it too?"

"No, but it really fits! And plus you're so less scary like this!"

* * *

Elder Chiyo smiled as she held a pouting Sasori-chibi.

It was like Sasori was a child all over again...

* * *

"LOOK! LOOK!" shouted Naruto. He held up a nine-tailed fox.

"WE MADE A KYUUBI-CHIBI!"

"You mean a Kyuuchibi." said Lee.

"No, a Kyuubi-chibi. It sounds better."

"You have a point, Naruto-kun."

* * *

Kiba and Hinata stared.

Finally, Kiba spoke.

"Is...that really what I think it is?"

"I-I think so, K-Kiba-kun."

It was a Shino-chibi.

* * *

Tobi, who was actually Obito, who would want to be know as Madara, somehow managed to get himself caught and force-fed Water of Youth. He wasn't Tobichibi...he was "Great Evils Come in Small Packages."

The world was soon terrorized by a chibi army of Chibi-Zetsus.

* * *

**After we pull out of the world of chibis, the cursed diary has somehow found its way to Kon from Bleach.**

**We're screwed.**

**Uranophobia or Ouranophobia - The fear of heaven.**


	6. Tenten's Weapons of Death

**This is Tenten's chapter! Mainly since I have no idea what to do for Neji...YES HE'S ALIVE. I refuse to believe otherwise.**

**I have decided that there is another person I have added to my "I hate you people" list. That Lava Fruit User guy from One Piece. I think his name was Akainu or something. I hate him. He killed Ace. But Ace has to be alive. I refuse to believe he's dead. I refuse to acknowledge his death. I refuse to acknowledge the death of many people.**

**But fortunately, writing a chapter of pointy weapons will distract me. I will just imagine them all stabbing Akainu...*goes off to laugh evilly***

* * *

Tenten had just received the best birthday gift in her entire life.

It was a scroll filled with weapons. Unique weapons.

Weapons that seemed weird and made you wonder why they were weapons in the first place (like that Chinese wok she found) and when you saw it in action, you wanted to kill the guy who made it since the weapon was destructive (like the fact that the Chinese wok gave people heavy concussions).

And that pair of chopsticks that shot deadly needles of poison was a perfect example. As long as you didn't press the wrong button, you could eat with it...which is exactly what Naruto did. Except he pressed the wrong button.

Fortunately, his furry friend helped him out.

The dozens of ninja that Tenten killed did not have a furry friend to help them out.

Ok, maybe one did, but that was more of a beetle friend than anything else.

* * *

Once upon a time there was a stupid ninja thief.

No one bothered to figure out his name since he was so stupid, so we shall call him "Baka".

Yes.

So, one day, Baka heard about Tenten the Weapons Mistress.

Baka was a very sexist ninja. He believed that kunoichi weren't as good as shinobi. So, Baka decided to rob Tenten's house of all her weapons.

Baka gathered a group of more bakas, and together the bakas all went to storm Tenten's house.

Unforunately, Baka was stupid up to the point where he didn't think the Weapons Mistress (who, by the way, was a ninja) would set traps in her home.

He also didn't think a lot of things through, but we'll get to that sometime.

So, getting back to the story. Baka tried to rob Tenten's house.

The result was a Baka-shish-kebab. A crazy Baka-shish-kebab, to be exact. Somewhere along the way, Baka and his team of bakas had managed to trigger every single trap Tenten had set up.

Every. Single. Damn. Trap.

Of course, Baka suffered the consequences. He became affected with the dangerous poison known as "Barney Poison".

It was mainly feared due to the fact that the Akatsuki had been infected by it, along with many of Konoha's strong ninjas. it was enough to make the silent and stony Hyuugas freak out.

It was truly a frightful thing. No one really bothered to wonder why there was poison for it, but it was a double-bladed sword. That didn't have a handle. And you had to wield barehanded.

On one hand, you could wreak havoc on the enemy, on the other hand, you could wreak havoc on your own friends.

So, Baka, being the poison-infected idiot stupid guy he is, began to run around, infecting his baka army with it. And then, for some reason, they decided to try and free the Juubi by going to the moon.

It didn't work. They ran off a cliff and died.

Morale of the Story: Do not be like Baka.

* * *

Tenten was mad.

Really mad.

Like Hidan's "Rage!" mad.

When you are mad, you get stressed.

When you get stressed, you want to relieve it.

And one way to relieve stress is to pound stuff.

So that's what Tenten did.

She pounded everything that moved. Inlcuding that weird person with pale skin, long black hair, and a long, slimy tongue.

Wait.

Wasn't that guy a missing nin or something? Like, Orochimaru?

Oh well.

Pound. Pound. Pound.

Wait.

Why did all of those guys have music note headbands? Maybe they were some musician group. But they didn't have instruments. Maybe they were pretending to be a music group.

* * *

"There, there, Orochimaru-sama. You can always invade Konoha another time." Said Kabuto as he patted a depressed Orochimaru on the shoulder.

"No...I don't think I can...I think...I want to be a shrimp..."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama, you can be a shri-WAIT, WHAT?!"

"A shrimp, Kabuto." Orochimaru turned to his follower. "You know, the thing that looks kind of like a really small, claw-less lobster if you squint?"

"Orochimaru-sama, are you sure that's a good choice?" asked Kabuto, who was now doubting his master's sanity.

"You're right! I should not be a shrimp."

Kabuto sighed in relief.

"I must aim higher and be a lobster!"

Cue headwall.

* * *

"DIE!" A kunai embedded into a wall just a few inches to the left of a cockroach that was probably scared to death as it managed to avoid more sharp objects.

"TEN-TEEEN!" protested Lee.

"What?!"

"The poor cockroach is scared to death!" Lee picked up the cockroach and placed it outside.

"Now, go home." said Lee.

The cockroach went back in. Lee patiently followed it back to the wall before picking it up again and repeating the process. Gai wasn't much better, but as for Neji...

Oh Kami.

Neji had managed to take command of cockroaches and was now leading them to the forest. Or maybe that was because he was holding a special scented bottle that attraced cockroaches.

Tenten looked at her wall that looked like Swiss cheese and cockroach guts. Maybe she should stop killing cockroaches with kunais...

* * *

**This is the end of Tenten's chapter!**

**And does anyone have any ideas for Neji?**


	7. Neji's Hair

**So, I have received some reviews telling me to do something with Neji's hair.**

**That is a very good idea. I thank the reviewers (NarutoRox and AngelWings0409). I also thank my ever-so-wonderful friend who told me something that came down to this:**

**"Just write something, it'll turn out pretty good in the end."**

**PinkFluffyUnicorns, who you might remember from _Akatsuki Mishaps_, is now no longer fangirling Deidara only. Jashin. She's fangirling Gakupo, Kaito, Deidara, Shadow (he's a hedgehog or something), some combination of Piko and Kaito (that she calls Paiko)...**

**Oh well. I guess I'll show you the chapter now.**

**After Neji we're going to Team Asuma. Joy.**

* * *

Neji, for some weird reason, did not like to smile.

Which was weird.

Even though Hyuugas were like that.

But Hinata was a Hyuuga. And Hinata smiled.

So, if Hinata is a Hyuuga, and Hinata smiles, and Neji is a Hyuuga, then Neji would smi-wait no that doesn't make sense...Law of Syllogism doesn't bend that way...

Never mind.

* * *

Neji kept his hair long because of a very amusing reason.

Once upon a time, little Chibi-Neji saw his dad trying to cut his hair with Byakugan only.

(It didn't work.)

Chibi-Neji was so horrified with his dad's new style that he refused to get his hair cut. So, since, well, trying to convince a toddler to do something isn't the easiest thing to do, _someone_ decided to cut Chibi-Neji's hair by force.

Neji was a genius from the start.

So, when that rather idiotic someone tried to cut his hair, Chibi-Neji whipped out a couple kunai he stole from his dad and copied what he saw his uncle did once.

What Hyuuga Hiashi did, that Neji copied, was a Hyuuga jutsu known only to the Head of Clan - the Air Kunai Pin Jutsu, used specifically for humiliation.

(That didn't go so well for the idiotic someone.)

Oh. And there was also that Uchiha Itachi thing...

Neji envied/admired/looked up to Uchiha Itachi. As in _UCHIHA_ Itachi. From the Uchiha clan.

Uchiha Itachi kept long hair.

Why shouldn't Neji?

His Reasoning:

Itachi was strong. Shodai Hokage-sama and Nidaime Hokage-sama were strong too, and they had long hair. Uchiha Madara was strong and he had long hair. Uncle was strong too, right? Right Uncle? Uncle had long hair too!

Wait.

Some girls had long hair.

Did that mean those girls were strong too?

Does long hair mean you are strong?

But Yondaime Hokage-sama and Sandaime Hokage-sama didn't have long hair...well, they sort of did...

But there were lots of strong ninja with short hair...

Oh...this is too confusing. I will go ask Otou-sama.

And Neji went to ask his dad.

Otou-sama, does long hair make you strong?

Eh? Hair has nothing to do with strength?

Then, otou-sama, why do we have long hair?

Oh. I will go ask Hiashi-sama.

And Neji went to ask his uncle. In fact, Hizashi didn't feel like explaining Hyuuga tradition to his son, and so sent him off to Hiashi.

Hiashi-sama! Hiashi-sama! Why do we have long hair?

Ne, Hiashi-sama, what's a tradition? **(Note that Neji's age is around 1 and a half.)**

Eh? Why do we follow it? Isn't change good sometimes?

EEHHH? You have to go already?

* * *

_Later that day__..._

"Hizashi-san, Hiashi-sama requests that you meet him." A runner told Hizashi.

Hizashi lifted an eyebrow but went to go see his brother.

Oh Kami...

"Welcome, Hizashi..." said Hiashi, with enormous amounts of killing intent radiating off him. "Why don't you take a seat?"

Hizashi gulped, turned around, and ran away.

"GET BACK HERE HIZASHI! IT'S AN ORDER FROM THE CLAN HEAD!"

"SCREW THE ORDER!"

"I'LL ACTIVATE THE CURSE SEAL!"

"THAT'S A LOT LESS PAINFUL THAN WHAT YOU'LL DO TO ME!"

* * *

"Ko-san. Koo-saaaan." Neji said as he tugged on his older cousin's sleeve.

"What is it, Neji?"

"Why is Hiashi-sama chasing Otou-sama around?"

"That is because Hiashi-sama is mad at Hizashi-san."

"Why?"

"Well, Hiashi-sama and Hizashi-san are brothers. It is natural for brothers to get into arguments."

"Ah. Ne, Ko-san."

"What?"

"Why do Hyuugas have long hair?" The question that had stumped the Clan Head and his younger brother was now presented to the younger brother's sister's son.

"Hmm...well, I think once upon a time the Uchihas had short hair. Then, the Hyuugas didn't like the Uchihas so they decided to change their hair so it would be different from the Uchihas. And then the Uchihas got jealous that the Hyuugas were so strong so the Uchihas decided to keep their hair long, too. But instead of backing down, the Hyuugas refused to acknowledge the Uchihas as the original long-hair-people so they kept their long hair. And, to this day, Hyuugas and Uchihas try to beat each other by having the longest hair."

"I see...Hiashi-sama said it was tradition."

"Well, it sort of is. But it's one of those I-don't-wanna-drop-it-out traditions."

"Ah..."

* * *

"Ah, Neji. You're back?" asked Hiashi, some 13 years later after the incident.

"Hai, Hiashi-sama."

Hiashi noticed that Neji's hair was now as long as his, even though Neji was still 14.

"Neji."

"Hai, Hiashi-sama?"

"Why did you not cut your hair yet?"

"I will not back down to the Uchihas."

"...Pardon?"

"Ko-san told me that once upon a time the Uchihas had short hair. Then, the Hyuugas didn't like the Uchihas so they decided to change their hair so it would be different from the Uchihas. And then the Uchihas got jealous that the Hyuugas were so strong so the Uchihas decided to keep their hair long, too. But instead of backing down, the Hyuugas refused to acknowledge the Uchihas as the original long-hair-people so they kept their long hair. And, to this day, Hyuugas and Uchihas try to beat each other by having the longest hair." said Neji.

"...Excuse me, I must talk to Ko."

* * *

"KOOO!"

Hyuuga Ko, now of 20 years of age, turned to see the Clan Head storming towards him. And Clan Head-sama looked angry.

"H-Hai, Hiashi-sama?"

"Why have you told Neji such a lie about long hair? It's a tradition, I tell you, a tradition!"

"Yes, I told him it was a tradition."

"A I-don't-wanna-drop-it-out tradition."

"Er...yes."

"HAKKE KUUSHOU!"

* * *

**I have now finished Neji's chapter.**

**Oh. And if you don't want to review but you like the story and you have an account, at least follow and favorite it...For some reason follows and favorites motivate me more than reviews...**

**The Naruto manga is going through valuable Madara-Hashirama bonding time.**

**And there one thing about the Senju that's funny.**

**Hashirama has black/brown hair, Tobirama has white/silver hair, and they have a brother who died who had half black/brown hair and half white/silver hair.**

**Kind of strange...**

**And it seems that Madara used to suck at skipping stones...**


	8. Asuma's Attempt

**So. I noticed I have not updated for a long time. I apologize. In fact, I probably wouldn't have updated for another 3 days...if I had not decided to go and search up "HetaOni" on YouTube.**

**That was probably the worst thing I've ever done (searching HetaOni up, not updating). So, do not do what I did...because the face of Steve will haunt your dreams...It's one in the morning and I can't sleep since I went through a two hour HetaOni-watching marathon. **

**It was...strange and scary and said...Italy kept dying, Japan kept dying, England died...and he survived in the end but he became blind...time looped over and over again...Steve...there were Gorilla Steves and Speedy Steves and Blobby Steves and Floating Mutant Steves...there were gazillions of them...**

**Ok...I think I'll stop before you decide to stop reading this chapter and go watch a game that will make you scream and cry and have a heart attack nearly every video.**

**...**

**I bet you are going to search it up if you haven't already...how about this...go to Google Images and search "HetaOni Steve"...that should hopefully stop you from watching it...or maybe the opposite.**

**Oh well. Enough of the author's note. Let us go and watch as Asuma attempts to stop smoking.**

* * *

The first thing that got into Nara Yoshino's mind when her son came home was that...the sensei that walking him home was smoking. Now, Yoshino had no grudge against Sarutobi Asuma. He was a rather nice person. It was just...his death-stick. She refused to call it by the official name.

And there was also the danger of secondhand smoking, and Yoshino was did NOT want her son to end up with lung cancer. So, being the caring mother she was, Yoshino went off and beat up Asuma.

Asuma laid off smoking for about 4 days.

* * *

Right after that, Yoshino, seeing as it did not work, asked her husband if he could do anything (after all, Shikaku was the head of the jounin) and Shikaku replied, "I'll think about it," which pretty much translated to "I really don't want to bother, but since you're nagging me so much, I'll make a half-hearted effort and hope you think it's a full effort."

Needless to say, it didn't go well. So, Yoshino went off and talked to Inoichi and Chouza, who were both alarmed at Asuma's smoking habit.

Well, if it was a cold and wet day, it was excusable, but Asuma was going through a pack every two days. Inoichi was worried about the possibility of lung cancer, and Chouza was worried about that and the fact that smoke in the kitchen tended to make certain foods taste horrible.

So, they all went to ask the Hokage, since, after all, Asuma was his son, and..well...that had to count for something, didn't it?

* * *

Asuma sighed as his hand itched towards his vest before a rock hit it, sending the abused hand streaking back to its pocket.

Geez, this sucked. Every since the Nara wife had got it into her head to stop his smoking, he couldn't smoke. She even went as far as to spy on them when training and throw a rock at his hand whenever it reached for a cigarette. While her presence did motivate her son, she had darn good aim for a retired kunoichi and he was pretty sure his hand was bruised now.

* * *

After a week, Asuma had started to suck on lollipops. The sticks gave him a sort of comfort...but now he had to deal with another problem.

If you eat too many lollipops in a day, all in different flavors, it starts to taste disgusting and your tongue is all weird. Unfortunately, Asuma could not just randomly stop and go off to brush his teeth...since his favorite Shinobi Special Toothpaste had to be used with the Shinobi Special Rinsing Water...which, by the way, was definitely not lake water. Or water fountain water. Or bottled water water.

And those things were as expensive as Icha Icha.

Wait.

Icha Icha...isn't that what Kakashi reads? And Kakashi didn't smoke...

Oh.

I get it now...

A grin spread across Asuma's face.

* * *

Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji went to their meeting place in Training Ground 10 and was confronted by the sight of a giggling Asuma next to a giggling Kakashi who was dodged attacks from an annoyed Naruto...who was being attacked by an irritated Sasuke. After all, if someone decided that you'd be a good landing cushion and landed on your stomach, what would you think?

Needless to say, Yoshino (who had stopped to get a cup of tea) was not happy. She was expecting to see Asuma, but not an Asuma armed with...Icha Icha, who was discussing plot series with Kakashi and possible thinking up a fanfic.

But, fortunately, Yoshino had gone out shopping early that day, and discovered something called a "Chili-Pepper Bomb."

A few seconds later, Asuma was furiously rubbing his eyes, and Kakashi was rubbing both his normal and his Sharingan eye.

* * *

A hundred miles away, Madara stared in confusion as Tobi, also known as Obito, lept around and scrabbled at his empty eye socket.

What the hell was happening to the boy? Was he going insane?

Madara hoped not...but then again, brainwashing did not always work. People had gone insane before from this. But the last thing Madara needed was for an Uchiha, armed with a Sharingan, to go off like that curly-haired guy when he was drunk.

* * *

_Flashback_

Madara had no idea how it happened, but he somehow managed to teleport out of this world. He had been flipping through that cursed diary Obito found, and BOOM! he had landed in a bar.

Smack in the middle of two arguing men.

After some information gathering, Madara had figured out that...well...these were the personifications of countries.

And at the sight of his country's personification...well...he was rather pleased to note that Japan chose to stay quiet and sense the mood.

Unlike the man next to him, who had this weird curl on his head that looked like a face and was currently hugging this long haired man to death.

And was drunk.

So, while the two men were shouting gibberish (well, one was shouting gibberish and the other a language he didn't know) Madara tried to sneak away...until the drunk-weird-face-curl guy groped him.

Madara screamed and used that seal that would send him back to his world, but into the Uchiha compound.

Poor Tarou...he really did scare the life out of that Uchiha.

_End Flashback_

* * *

Well...maybe he had to knock Obito out. Yeah. Now, what to use...oh! A book!

BAM.

* * *

Yoshino frowned as she currently debated her problem. On one hand, she could let Asuma keep reading Icha Icha, corrupting her students (Kakashi didn't count since the Uzumaki kid wasn't a single bit perverted, the Uchiha kid had gone through something that was probably more horrifying that the books, and...well...the Haruno girl she didn't really care for that much...) and letting Asuma smoke instead and most likely giving Shikamaru lung cancer.

Or...she could use the third way.

* * *

The next morning, Asuma was allowed to smoke.

But, Shikamaru came to the team meeting with a special mask strapped over his nose and mouth that was specially designed to filter out smoke and irritating smells. For once the Uzumaki's kid's pranks had been useful...that mask was developed to stop the time he bombed the place with _ramen scented smoke_...

The mask would do its job. And a darn good job it would be.

* * *

**Ok, and now for the random question:**

**You are in the supermarket, and all of a sudden you see your teacher (doesn't matter which subject). How would you react?**

**And if you review, please remind me to update. In fact, reviewing just to say, "Update!" would be great since it shows up in my gmail inbox...and therefore makes me pay attention to it.**

**Byaku~**

**P.S. And as for Madara's drop-into-alternate-universe scene, that was the world of Hetalia...same place where HetaOni came from.**


	9. Shikamaru's Troubles

**This is Shikamaru's chapter, and it'll be the last chapter...until all the testing (frickin' annoying tests) is finished.**

**I hope they continue the bubble mania. I like it better than free response since you can guess and you've got a chance...while on the free response...yeah.**

**Oh well.**

**Random Question:**

**You have just banged your knee on the side of the table. What do you say?**

**And, also, anyone want to beta this story?**

* * *

"SHIKAMARUUUUUU!"

Shikamaru scowled and squeeze himself in tighter in the gap between the pineapple bushes in the garden of the client they were at. Ino's mom had gotten a request to look at some of the sick roses, and she had brought Chouji and him to see. And, of course, Ino was there.

After escaping from Ino's attempt to make him go look at flowers (Chouji got lucky and went home early), Shikamaru had decided to nap.

He only ended up napping for a few minutes before Ino's shriek woke him up. He had immediately jumped up and ran away to avoid the Troublesome-Blond-Demon-Girl's wrath.

Hence the fact he was hiding in a pineapple bush. Yes, pineapples grew on bushes...he was sort of expecting trees though.

In fact, the only reason he was hiding in the pineapple bushes was because his hair sorta looked like a pineapple.

Unfortunately for him, though, it wasn't colored like a pineapple. He was rudely yanked up by Ino.

"Now...I'll make you work!"

* * *

Shikamaru gasped and woke up. It was a dream, although up until Ino finding him was a memory.

Beside him, the clock ticked to 6:00 A.M. and began to beep.

Shikamaru turned to the clock and tried to press the off button with his psychic powers.

It didn't work.

So, he moved from his comfortable position, hit the button...and couldn't get back to his comfortable position.

Shikamaru scowled.

* * *

Shikamaru fixed his eyes and Asuma and carefully extended his shadow towards him. However, Asuma lept away before he halfway there.

"Nice try, Shikamaru!" called Asuma, holding a piece of Shikamaru's shado-

Wait.

Holding?

"Um...sensei..." began Chouji.

"Hm?"

"I don't think that's a shadow..."

"...Eh?" Asuma turned to look at it.

It was a snake.

"...Oh." The offending snake was placed a few hundred feet away and Asuma came back.

"Alright, let's start agai-WHAT IN THE-"

There was a giant hole of squirming black snakes, all newly woken up from hibernation...and all hungry.

Asuma scowled.

"Alright guys, let's go find Kakashi. Maybe we can share his training area.

...Well shoot.

* * *

"Hi! Shikamaru! Chouji! Um...uh...oh! Ino!"

"Why'd you forget my name?!"

"Sorry, I-Ino!"

Kakashi looked up. "What brings you here today?"

"Snakes."

"Oh. You can pair up Shikamaru and Chouji against Naruto and Sasuke, it'd be a perfect time to teach the teamwork."

"Ok."

When Shikamaru and Chouji actually started to fight though, Naruto and Sasuke immediately ran awa-er, retreated.

They stared after them.

"...Ok, what just happened?" asked Chouji.

"Um...they made a tactical retreat."

"Oh."

_In reality_

"Ok," said Naruto. "I think we lost them."

"Hn."

"RAWR!" Naruto charged at Sasuke.

And their own little fight began.

* * *

"Shikamaru!" said Asuma. "I thought I told you to pair up with Chouji and fight Sasuke and Naruto, not doze off!"

"Naruto and Sasuke made a tactical retreat..."

"And after that?"

"...Too troublesome."

"Shikamaru, I swear-"

"Zzzzzz..." Shikamaru had managed to sleep walk...on his own accord.

"By gods..."

* * *

This is the schedule of Shikamaru's life when it is a lazy day.

Get up.

Attempt to turn off alarm clock with physic powers...fail, and get up to turn it off.

Eat breakfast and dash out of the house before scary mom can track you down.

Sleep in the tree until lunch.

Eat lunch outside with Chouji.

Cloudgaze, but this time with Chouji as company.

Get up and eat dinner, and return to house as quietly as possible.

Take bath and go back to sleep.

* * *

And when it is not a lazy day...

Get up.

Attempt to turn off alarm clock with physic powers...fail, and get up to turn it off.

Eat breakfast and dash out of the house before scary mom can track you down.

Sigh as you make your way to the training field...

Hide from Ino.

Fight as lazily as you can while still making it look like you are making an effort. (This is harder than you think.)

Go out for barbeque with everyone else.

Use your half-hour break to cloudgaze...and ignore Ino's rant about Sakura. And her fangirlism over Sasuke.

Ok...so maybe ignoring Ino is harder than he thought...

Train some more...and try to conserve energy.

Go home and eat dinner and try to avoid troublesome woman's chores.

Take bath and get into bed.

Sleep.

Get woken up by that stupid cat one of his aunts seem to insist on keeping.

Throw the stupid cat out the window.

Goes back to sleep.

**(Definitely a busier day...and Shikamaru isn't that tolerant of cats when sleeping. When he's awake...he's usually tolerant...or maybe he just doesn't care...)**

* * *

Sleep...Shikamaru loved that word.

Ino and Mom? Not so much.

Troublesome? Well, pretty much all Nara males said that, along with "Tch.", but...

Well, it was a darn good word for sure. "Ino" wasn't in it. Nor was "Sasuke".

...But there wasn't Chouji in it...or sleep.

Huh.

Oh well. He'd figure it out later.

* * *

Shikamaru soon decided that he was not a big fan of blondes...

First, there was Ino...and he didn't think a explanation was needed.

And then there was Naruto. While Naruto was a great friend, there were those moments when he wanted to just sit down and cradle his poor head.

And then Temari came along later...ugh.

* * *

**This chapter is done...I started typing this at 7 in the morning...finished at 8...went to sleep...got up and posted it.**


	10. In Which We Go Completely Off Topic

**So...basically this chapter went something like this:**

**I get a good math score, and I'm all, "HAHA! I FEEL SO MOTIVATED!"**

**And then, I finish my math homework in school...**

**And after that I get a flash of inspiration...**

**Enjoy. This is a combination chapter for Ino and Chouji...can't think straight due to Spanish verbs.**

**Random Question:**

**I am currently in a battle against PinkFluffyUnicorns. If I promise to update faster, would you ****consider reading/watching/reading and watching Hetalia?**

**...And if you have no idea what Hetalia is, search it up. It's the most interesting anime that relates to history ever. Please note that what actually goes on is probably not related at all, but you can watch full episodes on YouTube.**

* * *

"SHIKAMARU! WATCH THE BIRDIE!"

A child Ino grabbed her friend's (read as: dad's friend's son's) shoulders and shook the poor boy so hard it seems as if she was creating a new way to take off someone's head.

Of course, her other friend's (read as: dad's other friend's son's) protests didn't stop her.

"I-I-I-N-O-O! S-S-S-TOP-P-I-I-T-T-!" Shikamaru tried to get the words out coherently...

"THEN WATCH THE BIRDIE!"

Shikamaru slowly sat up and turned his head to look at the bird.

GREAT HASHIRAMA'S GHOST.

It was a phoenix. A freaking phoeni-

Wait...

That wasn't a phoenix...it was a flower sculpture made to look like a phoenix...

"That's not a phoenix, Ino..."

"It is! It's just made of flowers!"

"Troublesome...I'm going back to sleep..."

Silence.

And then,

BONK.

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR NAPS, SHIKA!"

"But they're important..."

"LIKE HELL THEY ARE."

Ouch. It seems like Inoichi hasn't been watching his language.

* * *

"Darling...have you been teaching Ino bad words again?"

Inochi looked up.

And gulped.

And ran away, very quickly. So fast it probably could've broke the sound barrier. If it didn't already...

* * *

Yoshino smiled as the hawk returned with the message that Ino's mother was going to chase Inoichi down.

After all, Ino was barely 5. Little kids shouldn't be learning bad words until they were...hm. She'd think about that later.

* * *

"Alright Chouji. We've gotta make sure Shika doesn't sleep all the time."

"But-"

"But what?"

"I don't think it's that big of a deal...I eat a lot of the time and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Um...that's a different thing. You're eating, but you still pay attention to the world. When he's sleeping, he can't see a thing. So an enemy could attack him."

"Well...that does make sense..."

"So, every time Shika goes to sleep, poke him in the sides."

"Ok..."

* * *

Shikamaru yawned. Ino wasn't here now...

He lay down to nap, but suddenly jolted up with a shriek as Chouji jabbed him the sides.

"What the heck was that for, Chouji!"

"Sorry. Ino told me to do it."

"Argh..." Shikamaru lay down again, but Chouji jabbed him in the sides.

Shikamaru scowled, giving up all hope of napping for the day.

"Oh, this is on, Ino. This is on."

* * *

"Hey guys!" Ino called later, in their first day at the Academy.

"Did you see that Sasuke kid? He just looks so drea-EAAAHH! SHIKAMARU, WHAT THE HELL!"

Shikamaru had jabbed Ino in the sides, but...

Ouch. Inoichi still needs to work on his language.

* * *

"Ugh..." groaned Inoichi as he lay in a hospital bed.

Chouza was kind enough to pat him on the head. Which coincidentally didn't help since he was hit there. Shikaku gave him a sympathetic look...that didn't look sympathetic at all...

**(For you people who watch Hetalia, it's England look of pity when France is dreaming about China.)**

Yup. He just had the best friends ever, didn't he?

* * *

"Shikamaru! Wake up!"

Iruka-sensei's voice rang through the air as Shikamaru slowly opened his eyes.

Shikamaru spent just enough effort to judge the time before sleeping again.

Ino wasn't happy. Iruka was interrupting Sasuke-kun's spar!

**(Speaking of Sasuke, have you seen Naruto Shippuden Movie #6? Road to Ninja? Well...it's just...Sasuke's sparkling...and...Oh. Can't spoil it.)**

So, Ino, being Ino, walked over and jabbed Shikamaru in the sides.

Shikamaru let out a half-strangled choke-shriek-gasp thing and curled on his side, looking much like some kind of dead animal.

His half-strangled choke-shriek-gasp thing sounded something like this:

"WAAARKBLEGAAAAH!"

* * *

Right after that, Shikamaru got mad.

Like, You-Killed-My-Clan-So-I-Will-Brood-Like-An-Emo-Unt il-I-Kill-You mad.

So, what better way to vent it out, then by jabbing Sasuke in the sides.

The result was rather amusing.

You see, when Shikamaru suggested this to Naruto, Naruto was perfectly willing to try this out. When Sasuke was jabbed in the sides...

He didn't cry out, but his face looked as if he was laughing, constipated, stuffing jelly beans in his mouth, and eating a chili pepper (or five) at the same time.

Of course, once Sasuke recovered, he stopped his brooding while he went to find the stupid little blond dobe and beat the living hell outta him.

* * *

About an hour later, Iruka sighed as he perched on top of one of the rafters of the classroom, safely out of the way of pesky little students who kept jabbing each other in the sides.

"HEY IRUKA-SENSEI!"

Iruka had barely a second to process the fact that Naruto was leapingg towards him.

Sadly, a second isn't enough to figure out how to escape and keep the blond classroom menace from injuring himself...so...

Iruka went crashing towards the floor. It was only by his ninja skills that he managed to stick to the bottom of the rafter, thereby saving him and earning him the eternal respe-er, eternal annoyance of the blond.

"Iruka-sensei! Iruka-sensei! Teach me that! Please!"

Iruka took a deep breath.

"No."

"EEEEEEEH?! WHY NOT!?"

"Because, Naruto, it's something you learn when you graduate."

"But, Iruka-sensei, why can't I learn it now and impress my jounin sensei later?"

Iruka was getting worried. Naruto was an Uzumaki.

You could always count on an Uzumaki for at least three things:

1. They have the craziest ideas on how to do things.

2. When they actually put that crazy idea into action, they have the best luck one could have.

3. It's very, very hard to win an argument with them.

...And Iruka was currently relearning #3...the hard way.

Iruka sighed.

"Ok, Naruto, think of it this way. You are learning how to walk up walls, but you keep falling do-"

"But why would I fall? I'm awesome! I'm going to be the Fifth Hokage!"

"..."

"What, Iruka-sensei?"

"...Oh screw this, I'm going to get an aspirin. Class is dismissed for the day." Iruka walked out, ignoring surprised looks, Sasuke looks (which is a brooding face), and a "YATTA!" before suddenly stopping.

_I...won an argument with an Uzumaki! Well, sort of._

Yes. Let the story paused while we applaud Umino Iruka for his feat.

"HEY HEY IRUKA-SENSEI!"

...Ok, never mind.

"What now, Naruto?"

"Who's my jounin sensei?"

Iruka thought about it. He _did_ remember seeing which team Naruto would be placed on if he passed...

"You're with Hatake Kakashi."

"...Who?"

"He has silver hair, headband pulled over his left eye, and a mask, and is always reading a bright orange book."

"...Ok! Bye, Iruka-sensei!"

"Sure, sure."

* * *

Naruto was now lost...until he saw Shikamaru. Shikamaru was smart, right? He'd go ask him.

"HEY! SHIKAMARU! ...oh, and HI INO AND CHOUJI!"

The three kids gave him a wave.

"Guys! I'm looking for a Hatake Kakashi guy! Wanna help me find him?"

Ino grinned. "Sure! Just as long as it keeps this guy awake!" To emphasize her point, she jabbed Shikamaru in the sides.

Shikamaru let out a whimper. "Sure...as long as it keep her away..."

Chouji shrugged. I'm fine either way.

"Alright! Let's do this!"

* * *

"HATAKE KAKASHIIIII! HATAKE KAKASHIIII! WHERE ARE YOOUUUUU!" Naruto screamed from the top of the Hokage Monument, completely ignoring the fact that the person he was looking for was cowering behind on of the Nidaime's hair spikes.

"HATAKE-SAN! HATAKE-SAN! HA-TA-KE-SAAAAAAAAAN!" Beside him, Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were yelling out too...or, at least Ino and Chouji were.

Finally, Kakashi had enough and he poofed up there.

"Now, what can I do for you kids today?" he asked, waving.

Bad idea.

The four were on him in an instant.

"TEACH. US. HOW. TO. WALK. UP. WALLS." They intoned, in eerie synchronicity and radiating out that semi-killing intent you get from kids who got their ice cream knocked over by you.

"Oh fu-"

DOOF.

Kakashi toppled backwards as an American football **(NOT the black-and-white ball you kick around)** came spiraling out of nowhere and hit him in the forward.

They all stared. Finally, Chouji spoke.

"I think he was going to say, 'Oh, funny joke' or something like that."

"Sure, Chouji." said Ino. "But, what are we going to do now?"

"That's easy!" said Naruto. "We'll drag him down the monument!"

"That's so troublesome..."

"Aw, cheer up, Shika."

"..."

* * *

**I just have this feeling that somewhere along the way, I went off topic...**

**Oh well.**

**I have just found a picture of England. Eating cornflakes. And somehow, when there is only a bowl of cornflakes and milk, he manages to set it on fire...**

**He really can't do much more than boil water. Which is necessary for tea.**

**In the next chapter, it is a filler chapter.**

**The Naruto group watches anime! It is up to you readers to choose which anime.**

**(Oh, and if you suggest Bleach, be prepared for "Sick-Guy", "Old-Guy-with-Cane", "Tall Girl", "Red-Haired-Harry-Potter", and many more nicknames...)**

**And this really depends if I can get this out before testing...we have to take a history test on all three years of history...I forgot what the first two years were about. And I'm not exactly paying attention to the third year very much...I don't take notes.**


	11. Watching Anime

**Here is the filler chapter. Somewhere along the way I decided to have them watch different types of anime.**

**And I figured that it might cheer people up. Figured. Don't know for sure, but I'm hoping for it. Hoping. Definitely hoping.**

**So here you go. This is focusing only on Team 7. And Jiraiya and Tsunade.**

**Random Question:**

**Why is there a dark-haired guy who doesn't speak much in almost every anime?**

* * *

"Hey! Guys! Look what I got!"

Kakashi and Tsunade looked up as Jiraiya dashed over, looking like a child who got exactly what he wanted for Christmas - and then some.

"Ero-sennin...isn't that one of those new computer thingies?"

"Why yes it is, Naruto."

"Then aren't you going to use it for online porn?"

"...Well, no..."

Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Ok...maybe..."

Tsunade began to charge up her Pervert Glare.

"Ok! Ok! Fine! I surrender! But really, look! I found this website where you can watch this thing called anime!"

Everyone crowded around.

"Whoa..." said Sakura. "There's so many different things to watch..."

Naruto suddenly pointed at the word "Bleach" and said, "Let's watch that one!"

"Why?" asked Sakura.

"Cuz, any anime that can be called a type of laundry detergent _has_ to be interesting."

"Alright." said Jiraiya. "Let's watch it."

* * *

"OH LOOK! THIS GUY'S GOT ORANGE HAIR! THAT'S AWESOME~!" Naruto shouted out.

"Naruto, hush!" yelled Sakura.

A few minutes later (or was it episodes? They lost track of time...), Naruto was off again.

"GYAAAAAH! What's that weird black and white thingy that's moving! And that parakeet's talking!"

"Naruto," Sakura said, "You should pay attention. That's called a Hollow."

"Well, it doesn't look very hollow to me. It looks full of evil!"

"Naru-you know what, never mind." Sakura sighed and turned her attention back to the computer screen.

_A couple dozen episodes later..._

"So...in the end, this Rukia person has family issues. Just like duck-butt emo over here-OW! Sasuke, what the hell?"

"...Hn."

"You're not even like Rukia anymore! I swear, you're like that Byakugan guy!"

Kakashi sighed. "It's Byakuya."

"Close enough."

"..."

_Sometime after that..._

Kakashi stared. "How'd an Uzumaki get there?"

Naruto perked up. "Uzumaki?"

Kakashi pointed at Renji.

"...He has weird tattoo things."

* * *

Naruto frowned.

"We're finished watching Bleach now...so..." he jabbed his finger at another name. "Let's watch...Fairy Tail!"

"Ok." said Jiraiya.

_A few minutes later..._

"This is wonderful!" shouted Jiraiya as he rapidly scribbled down notes.

"I know, right!" agreed Naruto. "It's a flying blue cat! A flying! Blue! Cat! How cool is that!"

Jiraiya frowned. "I meant the-"

Tsunade hit him squarely on the head and Jiraiya was down.

"Kakashi-sensei...I don't see a Sasuke yet...unless you count that dark-haired guy who strips."

"...I don't strip..." muttered Sasuke.

"So...Natsu's pink hair is supposed to represent...um...an annoying friend, I guess, and Gray's stripping habit could represent...your friend's quirks..." Sakura frowned; she was sure there was a hidden meaning in this anime.

_Some time after that__..._

"...Why is Lee here?"

"That's not Lee." said Kakashi.

"He has thick eyebrows...really thick eyebrows."

_And some time after that..._

"AUGH IT'S A CREEPY PUMPKIN-MAN-THING!"

"His name is Mato..." tried Sakura.

"HE'S STILL CREEPY! OH HOLY MISO RAMEN! FAIRY-TAIL-LEE'S EYEBROWS GOT THICKER! NOW THEY DON'T EVEN FIT ON HIS FACE ANYMORE!"

* * *

"Let's watch this anime that has this brown-haired guy with a curl on one side of his head."

*click*

_A few minutes later..._

"Wait...so was this Italy guy a tomato box fairy...or not?"

"Dunno." said Kakashi.

_A bit of time after that..._

"HOLY MISO RAMEN LEE GOT INTO THIS ONE TOO! AND HE HAS SASUKE'S VOICE!"

**(It's true...listen to Sasuke's voice and England's voice. They sound the same. And so does William's from Kuroshitsuji.)**

Sakura turned to Naruto with a look of horror.

"Don't. Blend. Sasuke-kun. With. Lee."

"Yeah, I get your point...Oh look! Someone put a blond Jiraiya in this!"

"Brat! That Frenchie guy looks nothing like the wonderful me!"

"You're right, Ero-sennin. He looks better than you."

"Why you little-"

Kakashi groaned. Maybe he should just use this time to sleep.

_And a little after that..._

"Germany, Germany, Germany is a really really really nice place, even though I'm your prisoner you give me food, and it doesn't suck like English food, sausages with cheeses, always taste so good~ It'd be heaven for a dog, yeah that's Germany~" Naruto sand happily.

"Naruto...shut up..." muttered Kakashi. Tsunade and Jiraiya both nodded in agreement.

"Tell me, how is it your Germans are so robust, you're crushing me with your intimidation, my fragility causes me to openly weep out of fear, your women terrify me, is it the norm to drink a barrel of beer, and then bust it on somebody head~?"

"Naruto, I swear if you don't shut up-" began Sakura.

"Please don't come to my place in large mobs, German tourists are scary! Even the girls that are from Germany, are more rugged than I am~"

"Yahoo~!" Sasuke randomly sang in.

Everyone stared at him.

Sasuke shrugged. "What? It's part of the lyrics."

**Note: I do not intend to offend anyone of any ethnicity, as Hetalia uses common country stereotypes from the Japanese point of view (I think...the creator's Japanese but lives in NYC...I think) to form the human image of the country.**

**And I really have no idea what English food is like. Or German. I'm just an American...(please don't kill me.)**

* * *

"Ooh! It says Kuroshitsuji! It has a mysterious feeling to it..."

*click*

_Five seconds later..._

"Why is that kid wearing an eyepatch? Is he a pirate?"

"No, Naruto, that's-" began Sakura.

"AH! What happened to the garden! It's a bunch of sticks!"

_A few episodes later..._

"What the hell is wrong with this guy? Or girl? Or-ok, is this Grell person a guy or a girl?!"

"He's a guy who acts like a girl, Naruto..." muttered Tsunade. "I think. I'm not really sure myself."

"This is a wonderful idea..." chuckled Jiraiya.

BANG!

Jiraiya was out...again.

"Somehow, Sasuke got put into this one, too."

"Dobe, I don't wear glasses."

"Well, you sure sound like...William? Yeah, William."

"..." Uchiha Death Glare #24: I don't look or sound like that guy/girl came into play.

* * *

"Is this title incomplete or something? It just says 'One Piece'...shouldn't it be 'One Piece' of...I don't know, pie?"

"Would you just read the summary for once?" asked Tsunade. She pointed to it. "It says One Piece is a pirate treasu-"

"WE SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH THIS~!"

_A few seconds later..._

"YOU COMPLETE IDIOT!" yelled Naruto. "You're supposed to aim for being Hokage, not Pirate King! Although Pirate King is still pretty good...and if this Luffy guy decides to go for Pirate King instead of Hokage, then that's less competition...but what if we have to fight...he seems like a nice guy..."

Tsunade fumed and gave Jiraiya another K.O., as well as a concussion as she discovered the blond chef known as "Sanji."

_A lot of episodes later (wow, they watch this really fast)..._

"Ramen...they eat ramen here too..." murmured Naruto, face pressed up to the screen.

Sakura jerked his head back. "Others are trying to watch, you know!"

"Sure-wait. What is that _thing_?" Naruto asked, pointing to the wonder that was Whitebeard's mustache.

"It's a mustache, Naruto." said Tsunade.

"But I thought his name was White_beard_."

"It is."

"But he doesn't have a white beard-heck, he doesn't have a beard, period. Shouldn't he be Whitemustache?"

"Don't you think it would take too long to say?" Having dealt with Jiraiya, a drunk Nidaime, a very high Shodaime, and Nawaki, Tsunade has some sort of patience with kids.

"Well, you have a point..."

_And then after that..._

Naruto frowned. "Kakashi-sensei..."

"Yes, Naruto?"

"Can I go kill this Akainu guy?"

"Why?"

"Because he killed Luffy's brother..."

"If you can, Naruto, you may."

"Alright!"

* * *

"Look!" said Naruto. "This anime has my name on it! And so does this one!"

_About 400 episodes later..._

Sasuke seemed very disturbed. So, this is what happened? Orochimaru promised him power to get his body, Orochimaru fails, he kills Itachi, and then he discovers Itachi is good, and he goes through this stupid little cycle of hate.

...Alright then. He would defy history. He wasn't going to do this. No way. He was going to kill Orochimaru, and then that creepy Danzou guy.

* * *

**And so ends the anime watching spree.**

**But, here is an omake:**

**OMAKE: NARUTO GOES THROUGH WITH HIS PLAN**

Akainu was gazing out over Marineford. He was the Marine Fleet Admiral now, and-

BANG. CRASH. FOOSH.

He looked out the window, and-HOLY MOTHER OF GOD WAS THAT A FOX?!

A nine-tailed fox happily romped through Marineford, demolishing everything and killing thousands in less than 30 seconds.

Akainu ran out onto the roof, where reporters (where did they come from?) were clicking away.

_The next morning..._

The newspaper read, "BREAKING NEWS: MARINEFORD LEVELED IN 30 SECONDS"

Underneath it was a picture of the destroyed Marineford. But what was stranger that the destruction was arranged in words, more specifically:

"THIS IS FOR KILLING ACE, YOU LAVA BASTARD. FROM, UZUMAKI NARUTO, THE FUTURE HOKAGE!"

The next day, Uzumaki Naruto was given one of the highest bounties ever.

* * *

**Alright. Now this is really done. **

**...I should probably warn you. I have been watching too much Hetalia for the past...oh three months, give or take, so, if one day, you see a barrage of Hetalia fanfics and/or chapters, well...^.^"**

**I'm going to go sleep now.**

**Byaku~**


End file.
